Energy — what you bring to love is what love meets

Let's talk about how most people look for love now, because I've been watching it evolve since 1999 — and I have some opinions.

Dating apps. Matchmaking shows. Dating apps disguised as soulmate sites. Compatibility coaches, love psychics, and still more dating apps. Enormous numbers of good-hearted people are grinding away inside this machinery, swiping in a somewhat desperate search for "the one" — and mostly what the machinery produces is confusion and exhaustion.

Here's what I want you to see about how these things work. They hand you a profile — a personality form. My personality versus your personality: are "we" compatible with "each other"? Do you hear it? It's two separate packages being compared, like appliances. It starts from separateness — from the assumption that love is a matching problem between two lists of traits. And a search that begins in separateness tends to find… more separateness. Understanding that changes everything, doesn't it?

Now, I'm not going to tell you nobody ever meets a good partner online — of course some couples do, and I'm glad for every one of them. What I care about is the energy you're searching in. There is a world of difference between reaching out from fullness — curious, open, standing on your own two feet — and reaching out from scarcity, where every profile is measured against the ache of what's missing. The apps can't see that difference. But love can. And so can you, if you get quiet enough to check.

So here's my measure, the one I've offered callers for decades — no sugar-coating: if the way you're searching leaves you drained, discouraged, and further from yourself — that's not a sign to push harder. That's a signal. Frustration that deep is often your own deeper wisdom telling you this door isn't your door. Spirit doesn't ask you to exhaust yourself to be loved. In my experience there are gentler, more natural ways to stand while life brings who it brings — and they start with where you are, not with a better profile.

That's the conversation I have in readings all the time: not "which app," but what energy you're carrying into love, where it came from, and what it would take to come at this from fullness instead. It's a different question. It gets different answers.

— Shannon Rose

Tired of searching and ready to look at what you're searching with? Book a Reading — it's just you, me, and the phone.